Crazy Pants, or lack thereof.

Things I’ve learned from the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver

It has been a strange experience to watch the Olympics as an expatriate.

I have realized that national pride is proportional to the distance from said home country multiplied by the length of time away from said home.

Such that under regular conditions:

NP = d*t

But under Olympic conditions, this equation takes on a whole other derivation.

ONP ≈ (∑Gm + ∫CC_oc*Hc + [∂(P)/∂t]) * {ω}

where:

ONP: Olympic National Pride equals the

∑Gm : sum of the gold medals plus the

CC_oc : Canadian Content of Opening Ceremonies multiplied by the

Hc : ‘Hallelujah’ Constant for when an epic Leonard Cohen song is performed by another epic Canadian performer. Can also be substituted by any other song from k.d. lang’s ‘Hymns of the 49^th Parallel’ or Joni Mitchell’s ‘Both Sides, Now’ or ‘A Case of You’ because it mentions Canada directly.

plus the

[∂(P)/∂t]: ‘crazy pants’ derivation (see Azerbaijan)

multiplied by

ω : Wayne Gretzky.

So, as you can see, this year the Canadian Olympic National Pride shall be quite high, although I think we could have done better on the pants. Right, Azerbaijan?

Speaking of fashion, there was one thing that I saw in the opening ceremonies that gave me such a pleasant surprise.

When Clara Hughes was carrying the flag for Canada’s entrance to the games, she was wearing a Hudson’s Bay Company scarf. You know: the ones with the green, red, yellow, blue stripes. I was surprised by the Canadian nostalgia I felt just by seeing a simple scarf. It felt like I was seeing a little Canadian secret…to a non-Canadian it was just a scarf, and quite a plain one, at that.

But to all Canadians, they see those four stripes and it immediately conjures up classic Canadian images, whether it is of the modern day department store, or the olden day fur traders, it is definitely a symbol firmly entrenched in Canada’s history.

It makes me think of home. And there is no better symbol to have of a home, than a nice, warm welcoming blanket.

Except maybe also a Timmies :)